LeadWithResilience
Simple Connections
Sometimes the simple connections we have can be some of the most affirming moments in our lives. It is important to recognize them, let them fill your heart, mind and soul when they happen, and then let them lead you to your future actions.
Each day this past week I have had several of these moments and while each one of the connections with other people might have lasted for only a few minutes of the 10,080 minutes of time we each receive in a week, they have affirmed me like no others.
These moments were not found in sacred places, were not based in deep leaning environments or work environments, and otherwise could have been simply overlooked and chronicled as just another brief episode of my life, but there was something a little more that connected these moments for me in such a powerful way.
Each of these moments were with people that I had previously worked with, supported in their careers, and built authentic relationships with, that I can now surely confirm have endured over time.
This week, I ran into two individuals who I had not seen or communicated with in close to five years, yet, when they saw me, I saw their eyes light up, their spirits rise, and hope fill their hearts. We spoke for several minutes and shared a few catch up stories and then they said the following in back-to-back respective statements, “You really made an impact on our lives”, and “I’d work for you in a heartbeat.” As I walked away from these two individuals, I felt tremendously affirmed. I thought to myself, “The work that we did with each other together was authentic, meaningful, lasting, and made a positive impact on others.” I thought about this all day!
A second moment occurred not in person, but through text messaging. One of my most loyal and dedicated colleagues who I have known in some capacity for over twenty years, but had not spoken to for over a year, simply texted me to connect. During that brief text exchange we talked about his retirement, my work, and what might lie ahead for me. His positive words of encouragement, belief in my skills and attributes, and hopes for my future success were also some of the most affirming statements that I have received about my nuanced skills working with people. Again, I thought to myself, “The work we did with each other together was authentic, meaningful, and made a positive impact on others.”
Each of you might have similar simple moments that pass us by like cars passing our houses at night, but sometimes, when you pay attention, you can hear and feel the life affirming messages that are embedded in these simple moments. Maybe the moment will come in a brief conversation with others, maybe through a text, or maybe you will be the one to provide the affirming message to others, which would be amazing! My point is, pay attention to these simple moments as they could be some of the most life affirming moments for you or others.
Dr. Rob Martinez is “Resiliency Guy”. His new book, “Recipes for Resilience, Nurturing Perseverance in Students and Educators” is published by the Dave Burgess Consulting Inc. and is available on @Amazon. Dr. Martinez is currently the Chief Human Resources Officer for the Antioch Unified School District in Northern California. He is available for professional development, keynoting, and is always happy to connect to discuss resilience development in education settings. You can find him on social media @ResiliencyGuy #RecipesForResilience
Sometimes, Revisited for 2021!
Sometimes, it’s about being present in your world, and offering support to those that need it without hesitation!
Sometimes, it’s taking a moment to see the love that is in your world and making a decision to give love back to the world!
Sometimes, it’s facing a small issue that has held you back, and making a determination to persevere, that leads to massive growth!
Sometimes it’s about appreciating the life before you, recognizing that each challenge of the past led you here, and moving ahead!
Sometimes, it is about hope, belief, mindset, that help build your goals and passions. Don’t underestimate your human potential!
Sometimes, it’s not just about checking off boxes in your plan, it’s about taking a step, re-evaluating, and then stepping again!
Sometimes, it’s about taking off the limits of the world, and recognizing that every successful person is a human being like you!
Sometimes, it’s about giving trust to those in your world, so that you free yourself to grow and expand your perspective!
Sometimes, it’s about persistence, seeing the future you, and knowing that you have the power to become who you want to be!
Sometimes, it’s about igniting a passion deep within yourself, or others, so that their light within becomes a palpable guide!
Sometimes, it’s about providing others with the skills, tools, insight, to empower them to face their challenges with gusto!
Sometimes, it’s taking on a huge challenge, one step at a time, with dedication and focus, to conquer the world.
Sometimes, it’s about letting your passion soar, unleashing the burst of ideas within your head, and about hoping to connect with another person.
Sometimes, it’s about listening to your heart, mind, and soul, and you simply have to know that you made the right choice.
Sometimes, you simply need to breathe, be #mindful, and be you.
Sometimes, you might need to give yourself a good swift kick in the behind!
Sometimes, you need to #TakeAction right now, and do not wait for the perfect time, because the perfect time may never come.
Sometimes, thinking that reviewing your work might be a good strategy is a great strategy.
I originally wrote this piece in 2017, reviewed it recently, and thought, this is even more relevant today.
So, give yourself what you need to be able to breathe.
Give yourself what you need to comfort your heart, mind, soul, so that you can take the action you need to take for you and others that are in your world.
You and they are that important!
Dr. Rob Martinez, AKA “Resiliency Guy” is a well-respected long-time California educator, author, leader, speaker, and builder of leaders. He seeks to empower others to lead lives with resilience so that they may in turn serve communities of learners. Follow Dr. Rob on all the social medias, and he is excited that his latest manuscript is in the hand of his publishers.
CARE
Care
As the year 2020 comes to a closure, and 2021 begins to rear is head all around us, I found myself thinking of a new theme for this year, and the one word that kept coming back to my mind was care.
I found that as the days of Covid-19 have dragged on, melded together, and seemingly have sought to rob many of us of our dignity, empathy, passion, and care for each other, I feel that it is more important than ever for people to simply care for others. I found myself asking everyone I met, or was saying goodbye to, to “Take care” when otherwise I might simply have said, “Bye”. And, I mean it, I want them to take care of themselves, take care of others, take care of strangers, take care to follow precautions, take care to keep themselves sane, take care to provide safe places for our children to grow, take care of our planet, take care of everything. I want people to know that in this context when I say to “Take care” I actually mean, “I love you”.
I found myself telling each of my children, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers, to “Be careful”. I want them to be careful heading out the door, getting into and driving their cars, arriving at their destinations. I want them to be careful with all of the interactions, to not offend, to help when they can, to not create stress or anxiety for others, and to not accept behavior that is offensive or debilitating from others. I want them to know that my words, “Be careful” when translated directly mean, “I love you”.
I found myself using the care emoji on Facebook more and more as this year concluded. I found that when I read a story of a lost animal, a lost job, and especially a lost loved one, I pressed that little picture of the yellow emoji man hugging the heart, apparently called the care emoji, and sometimes sharing a few words of support in the reply section, but this was not enough. I really wanted to reach out and hug my friends, tell them that I am so sorry to hear of their loss, and work to make things better for them. I want them to know that I wanted that little care emoji to reach out through the phone or computer to really touch the heart of the person I sent it to. I want people to know that my act of caring in this manner was not simply a reflexive act to push a button, but a true heartfelt message that sought to soothe their heart during these moments of pain. The pain has been extreme for many this year, like no other year, and yet, this little heart emoji is often all I had to tell then that I saw them, I felt them, that I wanted them to feel better. I wanted to make the world right, I wanted my efforts of pressing the care emoji to let people know I care, and yes, this really means I want them to know, “I love you”.
Yes, this year has been one for the books. A book I hope to never read again, and yet, this has been a year that has created much care in the world that has moved people to act who might have never been drawn into service before. Many who have never in their wildest dreams would have taken to the streets to march for what is right, marched. Many who in their lives would not have voted, voted. Many, who in their farthest thoughts of wearing a mask on their face to go grocery shopping, are wearing masks to protect others in their communities. Many who would have never reached out to others before, have been reaching out, holding onto others, fighting the good fight, and going far beyond what one might normally give to help others. These unprecedented acts of care are the shining moments are present in this craziest of years, and that I feel are generating a swell of positive energy and engagement that will bring forth a new way of interacting. This better way of interacting with one another is one way that we, as a people, are actually sharing care with each other, and to me this means, “I love you.”
As I conclude this year, my simple theme that will strive to keep in focus through 2021 is Care. I genuinely want my family members, my friends, my colleagues, those that are in my care, simply, everyone, to take care, be careful, know I care, and keep sharing care. By thought, via emotion, through action, from one to another, care for each other, care for people you do not know, care for the future of our communities, and keep caring. If we think it, if we feel it, if we do it, and sustain these types of behavior for the betterment of others, no matter how difficult the world becomes, we can hold onto our humanity and use this humanity to make things better for each other, if we do this, we will know, we love each other, and this must matter. Some might discount the importance of caring for each other, and yet, in its simplest way, this is life, to care for someone other than ourselves. So, one last time for 2020, I ask you to care, which means, “I love you.”
Dr. Rob Martinez, also known as “Resiliency Guy”, is a long-time educator, author, and resilience thought provoker. His book, Lead With Resilience is expected to be published in 2021, and he is available for keynotes and consultation. If your educational system or business believes he can be of service please reach out. You can find him on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
The Weights of the World
Every day as we move through this crazy world and especially during these crazy times, many of us struggle with carrying the weights of the world on our shoulders. Sometimes it feels as though we are shouldered with more and more and more, until it becomes unbearable, and unfortunately, when we keep these weights held high and stacked upon each other on our shoulders and back for far too long they begin to squash us into the ground with each step we take.
Sure, using weights to gain strength is important, but as many a trainer will tell you, if you workout with weights that are far too heavy for your abilities, at any given moment, you risk sustaining an injury that can cause great injury to you, and may sideline you for far too long, creating even more problems for you and pulling you away from successfully meeting your goals of service to others.
I believe that sometimes you need to put all of the weights down. You need to release them from your shoulders, take them off your back, release your arms and hands, and stretch a little to give yourself some flexibility. Then as you reconsider what you want to pick up and carrying, I suggest that you re-engage with the appropriate weights for your heart, body, mind and soul, then move forward.
Yes, this is hard, especially for those of us who feel massive responsibilities for the people we care for, teach, lead, and seek to serve. Yet, if we don’t do this, we run the risk of running ourselves deep into the ground, with the weights of the world falling on top of us, and then not being able to serve those we seek to serve. So, drop the weights!
As you realign the weights you will carry, consider grabbing onto these weighty things first, prior to continuing your journey forward. Always grab your dignity and integrity first. When you hold your dignity and integrity close to your heart, body, mind, and soul you engage, interact, communicate as the most authentic person you can be. In every conversation, engagement, interaction where you are keeping your dignity and integrity in hand you will also tend to treat anyone with whom you interact in a way that protects their dignity and allows them to hold ono their integrity. Mutual respect develops based on holding dignity and integrity in each conversation.
Next, be sure to ensure that you are carrying compassion, care, empathy and consistency with you at all times. It might seem obvious, yet, if we listen to anyone who reports on the political landscape of the day it seems that those who should hold compassion, care, empathy and consistency as compass points in their decisions, actions, and goals, are frequently lacking in these three essential components in building a healthy lifestyle.
When those in leadership roles are lacking in compassion, care, empathy and consistency, we find that they place more people at risk of harm, injury, trauma, and often make decisions that simply are short-sighted, fraught with peril, and prejudice. We find that they lack the application of a theory of equity, which in turn creates an inconsistent level of response to every situation. When we do not engage our minds with a theory of equity, we disallow our minds from considering that how we think, act, and we leave our minds with a presumption of correctness, even though faulty logic may be leading our thoughts.
Each of us, in our unique situations must then choose the next level of weights we take into our arms, place on our back and shoulders, and we must do so with thoughtful consciousness. Possibly you will carry, passion, justice, ethical practices, for your people or issues. Perhaps you will carry emotional healing for others, or safety and security for your family. In any case, as individuals we must individually select what else we will carry so that we can do the work that we want to focus on, and live the type of life we want to be proud of as we continue our journey.
There is no one way, one choice, and yes, some of us will follow our past practices, and grab onto too many idealistic expectations for ourselves, yet, if what you grab has truth embedded in it, then it is right for you, and no one should dissuade you from your choice.
Now, I will ask you to not pick up these particular weighty items as holding them will take a toll on you that is not worth the effort. Leave the weights of deceit, lies, anger, hatred, righteousness, prejudice, racism where they lay, and work to ensure that they are released from your heart, body, mind and soul whenever they seek to jump into your life’s work. Sometimes they are sneaky and try to work their way into your life as a defense mechanism or faulty intellectual argument, but you are stronger than that, and can see and feel these most heavy of weights tugging you to the ground.
Now, to be clear, I am not a certified personal trainer in any way, shape or manner, and yet, I have worked to serve others for a number of years, and truly believe that each of us must take the time to self-reflect, consider what weights of the world we are carrying with us, reengage with thoughtful consciousness regarding how we maneuver through our world deliberately with the most important issues in our hearts, bodies, minds, and souls.
If each of us did this, and if we expected our leaders across our systems to follow these simple practices of leading with resilience, I think that we would all be in a better, safer world.
Dr. Rob Martinez, AKA “Resiliency Guy,” is a 33-year educator, author, educational consultant, and is completing his next book with the working title, “Lead with Resilience – My Story, Your Story, Our Story.” You can follow and connect Dr. Rob on all the social medias as @ResiliencyGuy
Lead With Resilience 