Love
A Retirement Love Letter
In August of 2019 I left the Fairfield-Suisun Unified School District after thirty-two years of service. In my time in FSUSD I provided service as a School Psychologist, Assistant Principal, Principal, Director of Human Resources, and I was in my sixth successful year of service as the Assistant Superintendent of Human Resources when I left the District.
I then became the Superintendent of the Mt. Diablo Unified School District during a difficult budget year when the pandemic literally forced us to close schools to 30,000 students in a day’s turnaround. I then served as both the Assistant Superintendent of Business Services and Human Resources for the Washington Unified School District, prior to being named as Superintendent and Chief Executive Officer for the Griffin Technology Academies in Vallejo for the 2021-2022 school year.
After a challenging year at GTA, in June of 2022, I actually submitted my formal retirement paperwork with the California State Teachers Retirement System. As I contemplated retirement, I decided to apply for one more position as I was intrigued about the District and the services they were aspiring to provide to students. When the position was offered, I recalled my STRS documents, and I accepted the assignment to become the Chief Human Resources Officer for the Antioch Unified School District. While retirement was enticing, I decided that I wanted to continue my career of service and I opined, “What better place to continue my service than Antioch?”
Over the last three years, I have strived to be the best school administrator that I could and tried to model exemplary service and leadership to all. I hope that I have provided the service, support, skills and guidance that was needed by employees to serve all of our students in this capacity. I worked to foster better communication with the employee representative groups, individual employees, and worked to elevate the administrative team at every turn.
I can truly say that on the whole the employees in the Antioch Unified School District are some of the most dedicated people that I have ever worked with in my thirty-eight years of service. It has been challenging to say the least, however, I feel fortunate to have been able to return to a TK-12 -Adult School District and connect with so many caring educators. I feel strongly that I am leaving behind a positive legacy of service that I am extremely proud of.
In April of 2024, when the Governing Board asked me to step up to serve the District as Superintendent, in addition to carrying my Human Resources responsibilities, I said, “Yes” and took on the responsibilities of both of these high-level positions. School leadership is never for the faint of heart, and yes, this last year provided some of the most challenging meetings, conversations with Board members, and struggles along the way, and yet, I was able to meet and fulfill the rigorous commitments of both positions to keep learning moving in the classrooms.
As the year progressed I felt the heavy responsibility to bring about equitable, high level, and compassionate care and education to the almost 16,000 students of the District, and I’m grateful that I was not alone in this endeavor. My Human Resources Team is simply incredible. My Administrative Assistant is tops bar none. My second in command who took on a substantial level of responsibility during these months, extraordinary! My Cabinet Members were all on-point, focused on what mattered, and were each outstanding in their commitment to students.
We finished the 2023-2024 school year strong. One of the highlights for me was being able to accept thousands of new graduates during the commencement ceremonies. We also worked to prepare for the 2024-2025 school year, and sought to promote the District in every way possible to be able to tell the positive stories and activities that were bringing about needed change for students and the community.
Our beginning of the year staff development for everyone was inclusive, specifically focused on equitable and ethical practices, and focused on building authentic relationships that could endure the challenges ahead. Our employee representative groups were willing to work together to bring about a more swift conclusion to negotiations so as not to distract from the real work of creating equitable opportunities for students, and I believe that I was even able to begin the alignment of the Board as they transitioned to new leadership. Knowing that I would be leaving at the year’s end I was able to guide them to initiate the initial steps towards finding a new Superintendent.
While the work of both positions was extremely rewarding, and the team of administrators with whom I worked with is extraordinary, in January of 2025, I did make the decision to pull back my services from the Superintendency to facilitate a better transition to new leadership for the District. Over the last three months I have concentrated my responsibilities on ensuring that there was a succession plan in place for both of the positions that I was filling. I am now focusing on my next and important promotion to retirement.
I have heard it said that sometimes the transition to retirement can be a challenge for Superintendents and high level administrators, and I can now understand that a bit more. The jobs of top-level education administrators can be unnerving, making you lose sleep with worry as if all the children of the District are your own who are not home before their curfew. I anticipate that there will be a dearth of emails, phone calls, text messages, which might ring loud with their silence, but I think I am more prepared than most. I know that this silence will be filled with new songs, new refrains, and new experiences.
Some have asked me, “What will you do when you retire?” and if you know me, you know that I have a long list of things planned and will be willing to add more every day. I know that I will write more, speak more, publish new products, and somehow be on stage. I will determine if I will choose to provide coaching, consultation, or create my own side hustle. I will rest, then go, then rest some more, then go farther. We will travel, breathe, and work to enjoy each and every moment of living. I will walk, hike, exercise, sing, dance, and branch out to new activities with the glee of a child.
My last official day in the office is Friday, May 2, and then I will officially be on vacation through the last day of the school year, June 10, 2025. This will mark 38 years of service to public education. With some simple math, I believe that includes service to well over 200,000 students in some way that I have worked for during that time.
To the literally thousands of people I have worked with in this amazing endeavor, I sincerely want to share my thanks for what each of you have done in support of children as well.
In closing, I’d like to share two quotes with you that I have worked to keep in mind as I tried to be the best educator that I could be.
The first is from Ralph Waldo Emerson.
“Successful is the person who has lived well, laughed often and loved much, who has gained the respect of children, who leaves the world better than they found it, who has never lacked appreciation for the earth’s beauty, who never fails to look for the best in others or give the best of themselves.”
The second is one of mine, Dr. Rob Martinez
“Let the lives we help others live be the measure of our success.”
I like to think that I’ve tried to do just that throughout my career and life, but don’t worry, I’m not done yet! There will be more to come!
Again, my sincere appreciation and with thoughtful consideration,
Dr. Rob Martinez, AKA “Resiliency Guy,” AKA “Papa Rob” You can reach out to me by email, ResiliencyGuy@gmail.com and find a number of my writings at https://resiliencyguy.com/
Interested in Dr. Rob’s latest book? You can find it here: “Recipes for Resilience, Nurturing Perseverance in Students and Educators.” http://amazon.com/dp/1956306439
The Power of 12: Nurturing Positivity and Resilience in Students and Educators
From his recently published book, “Recipes for Resilience, Nurturing Perseverance in Students and Educators”, Dr. Rob Martinez shares the concept of “The Power of 12”.
How do we make sure that we capture the essence of each positive thought, action, and feeling so that they trigger more positive results, creating a snowball of success? Well, we take action to initiate positivity; we watch for it, we share it, we promote it, we use it to build ideas in the community we live in, and we spread it on everything!
Each and every positive experience we encounter is part of our story, but far too often we allow those who languish in negativity to influence us. Negativity can be found on the local news, in our offices, and even in our personal thoughts, so we must consciously work to listen and be prepared to contradict inaccuracies when we meet them. We must seek and share the positive comments, acknowledgments, successes, and steps taken toward healthy growth, and use this information in our own stories. We must share this information with our neighbors and colleagues, and even, for that matter, on the local news!
If we want the world to know about the great things that are happening in our environments, we must shout it from the mountain, whisper it to each other, share it on every screen, and print it on every piece of paper that exists! Here are a few ways:
• Build a class story. Each day, or at least once a week, give your class some time to acknowledge and show their successes, growth, and development. Write it down, capture it in pictures, or heck, even go live on social media. Create a library of experiences that tell the story of this group of amazing people.
• Use a class, school, or district website to tell the incredible stories of advancement, success, and good things that are happening in your environment. You don’t have to do it alone. Let your students take charge! Include them and put their ingenuity to work.
• Get out there and talk yourself up. Whether you speak up in staff meetings, parent-teacher organizations, local community groups, or even at board meetings for your organization, tell the story of success that you see.
The Power of 12!
I’ve said it a few times in this book, and it bears repeating: we must consider the hearts, minds, souls, and actions of all individuals as we strive to build and enhance our own resilience and that of our community. We can do this through a purposeful approach that seeks to acknowledge positivity when it presents itself to us. The Power of 12 is one such way. You must take on this challenge yourself, and to truly create an upswell of positivity, you should also enlist every adult in your organization to take part in these simple steps:
Step 1. Each week, tell at least one student and one colleague that you saw their heart. What does it mean to say that you saw someone’s heart? You will know it when you see it. You will see it in the way people care for each other, the way they take a second to think of someone else, the way they make life just a little easier for others or lighten the load for another person.
Step 2. Each week, tell at least two students and two colleagues that you appreciate their mind and the way they share their perspective with you or others. In our world, we are often connected by being disconnected. Many people would rather get a text message than a phone call, would rather read a Facebook post than have a conversation. Self-expression is becoming a lost art. Even at our dinner tables, we far too often look up and see those in the room watching their phones rather than really engaging. We communicate verbally and in person less than ever before. We must remember that we shine our brightest when we are actually locked in true discourse and connected by being with each other.
When someone actually takes time to share their thoughts and perspective, we should stop, focus, and listen. We should strive to really understand their intent and then seek clarification so that we understand them. In many circumstances, when we misunderstand someone’s words and ideas, it isn’t because they didn’t communicate clearly; it’s because we didn’t listen appropriately. Telling someone you appreciate their mind lets them know that they are meaningful to you, that they hold innate value as a person, and that you’re interested in what they have to share. So many of us feel devalued in our society, and I often wonder if some of those feelings come from not being listened to and appreciated for our thoughts and words.
Step 3. Each week, tell at least three students and three colleagues that you saw them help someone’s spirit soar. Did they offer a kind word, give encouragement to a friend, offer compassion and caring to another? Did they give a blessing to someone in need or support someone having a tough day? Did they give an unsolicited cup of coffee, snacks, or written words of love to someone? The examples can fill a book. Our acts help others’ spirits soar just a little higher all the time, but we are often not looking for these moments.
Okay, did you add them up? Step 1 calls for you to tell two people that you saw their heart. Step 2 calls for you to tell four people that you appreciate their minds. And Step 3 calls for you to tell six people that you saw them help someone’s spirit soar. So, each week, you would personally be connecting with twelve people, hence, the Power of 12.
If you want to start out in your classroom and keep it simple, start by saying to your students: “We are going to have a challenge over the next week. We’re going to focus on being kind, smart, and helping others, and we’re going to try and catch everyone doing it. So, during this next week I challenge each of you to tell at least four different classmates that you saw them do something kind, do something smart, or help someone. Then, at the end of the week, during our reflection time, we’ll hear about the amazing things our class has accomplished to make life better for everyone here.”
If you happen to have a teaching staff of twenty people and you enlisted each of these teachers into this simple activity, you all can connect with 252 students each week with a personal communication that is meaningful and provides feedback about their heart, mind, or ability to help someone’s spirit soar. Think about it: in just two and a half weeks, each child at this school would have been personally acknowledged by a member of the teaching staff!
What if you added your classified staff—everyone at the school site who doesn’t have a teaching credential yet cares about these children? Let’s add another twenty, even though some of them work part-time. That’s right, include your yard supervisors, custodians, parent volunteers, and anyone who is on your campus. With 41 adults participating in your school environment, collectively you can connect with 492 students each week!
Okay, now, just for kicks, imagine what happens if all 650 students were supported and empowered to exercise the Power of 12 each week of the school year. So, now there is you, the teaching staff, your classified staff, all adults on campus, and all the children participating. What you have is an explosion of positivity! If all 691 people participated in the simple practice of the Power of 12, each week there would be at least 8,292 positive affirmations occurring.
Over the course of a thirty-six-week school year, this would bring 298,512 positive interactions into existence that would lift up the entire school population. Talk about the Power of 12! This would garner some positive attention across your school community for sure!
This idea can be implemented in any environment, with any number of people. It’s another way to take back control of the narrative and the environment for everyone in the community. Will it stop all negativity from occurring? Perhaps not. But when each of us is engaged in planting the seeds of a positive environment, we’re taking fertile ground away from negativity, and we’re choosing what will be cultivated in our island paradise.
Our children are kind and good natured, and when we give opportunities for them to show these traits, they’ll be eager to please. In several schools where I presented this idea, the idea grew into an explosion of kindness. We had teachers creating social media posts with positive actions from their students. We received reports of kindness and care being extended to siblings and parents at home.
In parent-teacher-organization meetings, adults took it on and were really seeing each other differently—to the benefit of the children. I have even seen several of my more experienced teachers who have discounted many positive-behavior intervention strategies use this approach, and when they do, they get a renewed perspective on the power of children to make the world a better place.
If you would like to read more about my thoughts about nurturing perseverance in students and educators please go get a copy of my new book, “Recipes for Resilience, Nurturing Perseverance in Students and Educators.” http://amazon.com/dp/1956306439 And, better yet, get your entire staff a copy as well.
Dr. Rob Martinez, “Resiliency Guy” is a lifelong educator and now serves as the Chief Human Resource Officer in the Antioch Unified School District. You can find him on all the social medias as @ResiliencyGuy
#SEEKBEAUTY – My 2018 Theme
#SeekBeauty
As 2018 begins, and I mindfully reconcile the reality that this year I will turn 55 years old, I have tried to be more cognizant of the world around me, and the world that I assist in creating for others. Some might say, well, that’s maturity setting in, or others might simply say, finally. I like to think of it as continuing to grow, and my focus on seeking to recognize the importance that each of us has in the world and our impact on others.
Many of my friends and family members take time at the New Year to set resolutions, start some new habits, and or contemplate their place in the world, and their impacts on others, and I too have been thinking about what to focus on in this New Year., 2018
I landed on these two words that I hope will guide my this year: #SeekBeauty
#SeekBeauty in life, love, family, relationships, myself, friends, co-workers, colleagues, students, children, animals, land, air, water, food, fitness, learning, teaching, playing, being, all, #SeekBeauty
I know that #beauty is relative, and I do have many beautiful relatives, but that’s another story. What I mean by beauty in this case is to seek to understand the true, innate, beauty that is apparent in our world, that we frequently overlook, disregard, give little time to, and let slip away, when we should be appreciating it, caring and cultivating it, and bringing it into our hearts, minds and souls.
Life, love, family, relationships are the nourishment that we need to sustain our hearts, minds, souls, and yet, so many times we take for granted those that are in our lives, love us, are our family, and those whose relationships truly mean more to us than anything. There is beauty in each opportunity to grow these relationships that we must seek to appreciate. There is beauty in each conversation, touch, embrace, glance, and yet, we sometimes treat those we care the most about in the worst ways. I am seeking to see the beauty that is provided to me each day, and I hope you do the same. Notice, and appreciate each moment, and let others know you care, and see the beauty that is in them.
I am seeking to find the beauty that is in me. Yes, I might seem silly, and yet, the old question is accurate: “How can you love somebody, if you don’ love yourself?” In this case, I don’t mean in a narcissistic way, I mean to love yourself is to care for yourself. Care about what you eat, drink, do with your body. Are you moving, exercising, giving your body fresh air, water, nutrition that can help you? Are you providing your entire system with what it needs to sustain, to battle the vile parts of the world that seek to damage your body? Not one of us has the same system, so you have got to find what works for you, and then as the saying goes, #DoIt. Feed your mind, feed your heart, feed your soul.
Each of us spends time with co-workers, colleagues, clients, community, etc., and if we are wise and looking for it, there is beauty there as well. Again, this is not just a physical thing, it is in the way so many positive, good, caring people live and go about their lives. If you spend a few minutes watching the news you can quickly become filled with frustration, and disgust at many acts of a few, and yet, we frequently have hundreds of positive acts going on around us that we fail to notice by our community members. A door being opened, a friendly hello, a phone being answered, work being accomplished with service, a caring hand, a hug goodbye, are but a few of the moments that add to the beauty of the day. I challenge you, as I have challenged myself to see it, appreciate it, let it fill your heart with knowledge that people are beautiful!
Yes, the world that we live in is a beautiful place, and I also believe that it is up to us to create more beauty for our children, our students, our pets, those we care for, those who have lost the ability to see the beauty, though they still have sight. We must work to create beauty, be the best within us, and help each other #seekbeauty. I’m not sure if we will ever all get to this wonderful place that I am seeking to find, though I do believe that the journey would be a lot more pleasant if we all tried to create more beauty, and to find more beauty in each other.
Here’s hoping that you all #seekbeauty in yourself, others, and our world.
Dr. Robert A. Martinez is also known as @ResiliencyGuy He tweets, blogs, and seeks to share thoughts about the world, and our ability to empower each other with our actions, thoughts, and goals.
The Skies Out Tonight
Video Posted on
The morning of 9/11/2001, as I readied to go to work, and prepared to leave my wife at home with our two youngest sons, aged 19 months, and 1 month old, we were both crying, and upset by the news of the attack. I was a school psychologist at the time, and believed that my family was safe, and that I could be more use at work. So off I went to ensure that the children of the schools I served were doing ok. The rest of the day was a blur. I remember checking on classrooms, teachers, and many students who we knew had parents in the military, and or were on assignment and were out of the area. That night, all the planes were grounded, the skies were silent, and these words came to me. I wrote them down, and tucked them away. I remember reading these words each day, somewhat like a prayer over that first month. Today, as I was reviewing several documents that I wrote during that time, I found these words, and decided to spontaneously record myself singing them. No music, other than me. Well, the result is here for you to view, and the words are written below.
It is sixteen years later, to the day, that I wrote these words, and I believe that more than ever, we need to reconnect to the strength that we collectively have. We are a strong nation, and are stronger when we come together. I hope you find some relevance in these words, and I hope that you hold the hope in your life in high regards.
My best to you always, Dr. Rob Martinez, AKA @ResiliencyGuy on @Twitter
The Skies Out Tonight
Chorus
The skies out tonight are silent.
The skies out tonight are silent.
No planes fly tonight, they lay still.
The skies out tonight are silent.
But I can see
The American Eagle soar
Like I’ve never seen before.
He lives in us all.
And I can hear
The American Voices Sing
You might test our strength,
But we will survive,
And we will shine through.
Chorus
The skies out tonight are silent.
The skies out tonight are silent.
No planes fly tonight, they lay still.
The skies out tonight are silent.
But I can feel
The American Spirit
We’ll fight through the day,
We’ll fight though the night,
To keep it alive!
Our strength,
You cannot take!
Our hope,
You cannot faze!
Our faith,
You cannot break!
Our love,
Will overcome!
Chorus
The skies out tonight are silent.
The skies out tonight are silent.
But soon, they will roar again.
Yes, soon they will roar again.
For we all can sense,
Our American pride,
We’ve gathered as one,
We won’t be outdone,
We’ll fight till we’ve won!
Our strength,
You cannot take!
Our hope,
You cannot faze!
Our faith,
You cannot break!
Our love,
Will overcome!
The skies out tonight are silent.
The skies out tonight are silent.
(To fade)
Written by
Robert A. Martinez, Ed.D.
9/11/01
Sometimes, You Just Need to Breathe
Spring, 2017, Sometimes, You Just Need to Breathe
Sometimes, it’s about being present in your world, and offering support to those that need it without hesitation!
Sometimes, it’s taking a moment to see the love that is in your world and making a decision to give love back to the world!
Sometimes, it’s facing a small issue that has held you back, and making a determination to persevere, that leads to massive growth!
Sometimes it’s about appreciating the life before you, recognizing that each challenge of the past led you here, and moving ahead!
Sometimes, it is about hope, belief, mindset, that help build your goals and passions. Don’t underestimate your human potential!
Sometimes, it’s not just about checking off boxes in your plan, it’s about taking a step, re-evaluating, and then stepping again!
Sometimes, it’s about taking off the limits of the world, and recognizing that every successful person is a human being like you!
Sometimes, it’s about giving trust to those in your world, so that you free yourself to grow and expand your perspective!
Sometimes, it’s about persistence, seeing the future you, and knowing that you have the power to become who you want to be!
Sometimes, it’s about igniting a passion deep within yourself, or others, so that their light within becomes a palpable guide!
Sometimes, it’s about providing others with the skills, tools, insight, to empower them to face their challenges with gusto!
Sometimes, it’s taking on a huge challenge, one step at a time, with dedication and focus, to conquer the world.
Sometimes, it’s about letting your passion soar, unleashing the burst of ideas within your head, and about hoping to connect with another person.
Sometimes, it’s about listening to your heart, mind, and soul, and you simply have to know that you made the right choice.
Sometimes, you simply need to breathe, be #mindful, and be you.
Sometimes, you might need to give yourself a good swift in the behind!
Sometimes, you need to #TakeAction right now, and don’t wait for the perfect time, because the perfect time may never come.
Dr. Robert A. Martinez, is becoming wel-known as @ResiliencyGuy across California. He focuses on building environments where children can learn and grow in peace. He speaks on Transformational Resilience, a concept that focuses providing thoughtful systems that seek to engage and support each child in their learning. You can follow him on twitter @ResiliencyGuy and @DrRobM_FSUSD and on Facebook as “Resiliency Guy.”
Focus on Transformational Resilience
My focus is on #Resilience development, and my concept is simple to comprehend. I believe that each person has the capability to support others with developing #resilience skills. I also firmly believe that it is an obligation for adults, especially educators, to build environments for children, and especially their students, that foster the development of the latent ability to be #resilient that resides in each child.
I believe that there are steps that each person can take to support the advancement of #resilience skills, and this simple graphic is representative of those actions that can be taken to build these skills in our children.
Ask yourself these questions and reflect if you are taking steps to build or hinder #resilience development:
1. Am I acting to #engage my students? Meaning, Am I offering relevant interactions that are intended to build their skills, knowledge, creativity and innovation skills?
2. Am I offering #positivity to my students? Meaning, Am I focused on the growth, the development, the advancement of my students, while providing authentic meaningful feedback that encourages my students and inspires them?
3. Am I being #thoughtful in my approach with my student? Meaning, Am I considerate of the unique needs and interests of my students, and I am reflective in my process, and then, in turn, able to be flexible in my approach to connecting with them as individuals?
4. Am I #supportive towards each of my students no matter what? Meaning, no matter the needs, no matter their behaviors, no matter the trauma that they may have been exposed to, do you accept them, without reservation, and do you recognize that they deserve the best you can be?
I believe that working to support our children is the most important work that can be accomplished by educators, parents, and adults. If we don’t, who will? If we don’t act, how will our children learn and grow? If we don’t accept this responsibility, act as mature, well-functioning adults, how in the world can we expect our children to become more advanced well-functioning adults? It is that important! It is the most essential work that we can do! It is up to each of us to build environments for children where they can grow, flourish, and activate the latent ability to be resilien! Please join me in this effort to help our children grow in peace!
Dr. Rob Martinez is the Assistant Superintendent of Human Resources for the Fairfield-Suisun Unified School District, and is a proponent of supporting #resilience development in all of our learning environments. He would be happy to assist you and your schools in building and fostering environments where #TransformationalResilience can grow!
You can follow Dr. Rob at @ResiliencyGuy on #twitter as well.
A Rememberance of My Father, What a “Beautiful” Man
If you happen to follow my posts on WordPress, Facebook, or Twitter, you know that I was able to spend an incredible day with my father, Eugene “Queno” Martinez, this year. We laughed, ate, talked, cried, and shared simply the most amazing time.
Unfortunately, not a week later my dad found himself in the hospital with pneumonia, had a stroke, became incompacitated and passed away on June 30, 2016. It’s been a very difficult couple of weeks for my family.
This last weekend my entire family was able to gather to pay our respects, hold services, be together, and celebrate his life. I was asked to say a few words at his service, and a few of my relatives asked that I share my written words with them. Though during the services I went off-script, I still wanted to share these written words with them, and you, as I hope there might be some meaning here that resonates with you.
Good morning,
I’m Rob Martinez, Queno’s youngest child, and on behalf of our step-mother, Dolores, myself, my siblings, Tomas, Patricia and Henry, and our entire families, we thank you so much for being with us today as we reflect on the amazing journey of our father, Dolores husband, Eugene “Queno” Martinez.
Our father had a wonderous, amazing life, and personally, after deep reflection I have come to better understand many of the roadblocks that he faced, and simply crushed through, during his almost 90 years of life!
His life was one filled with twist and turns, and though he had been faced with many adversities he persevered through it all to become simply an amazing example of a hero to many of us here, and to others across California. He did so much for so many for so long, and well…
I wanted to make this just a bit interactive, so bear with me as we try something:
By a show of hands, and please keep them risen, who has ever done any of these with Queno?:
-Picked fruits or vegetables, worked with him building something, a freeway, garage, extra room, pinewood derby car, or worked in the yard with Queno?
-Been fishing, played golf, gone on vacation, traveled in a car for hundreds of miles with children?
-Shared a Pepsi, lunch, burrito, or had dinner with him?
-Gone to, listened to, or watched a Dodger game with him?
-Been to church services, a wedding, a baptism, or any other religious service with him?
-Been with him as he held one of his grandchildren, or/any baby for that matter, and seemed to communicate directly to the baby’s heart, mind and soul with a subtle, soft voice?
-Sang, danced, laughed, giggled, watched a movie, been to a swap meet, or stopped at a yard sale with him?
-Whose ever had him come see them in a sporting event, performance, graduation, parade, or any other activity?
-Who has had ad the pleasure of being provided BBQ, guacamole, menudo, or simply was fed by him, and treated like a king or queen by him?
Who has been able to sit and talk about life, passion, hard work, love, and who knows that he deeply cared for you?
Well, I gotta tell you, my hand would have been up for all of these, and by the show of hands today, I think these rememberances for each of us adds to his life’s legacy. Each of us has unique memories of our father, and each of us has those special times where we might believe that Queno was only thinking about us at that very moment, and you know what? You would be correct.
He had that amazing ability to give love to so many at the same moment that this is why I believe that we each felt so special when we were able to be with him, or even have a quick phone conversation, and even if we were not able to be with him, we just knew that he was thinking about us. So, now it’s up to us to carry the legacy of our father with us, and live our lives, with him being just a little closer to our hearts..
My dad was known for a few sayings,
“Think twice mijo!” Which I think he said to my brother Henry a few more times than he ever said to me. It was his way of reminding us that what we do matters, that what we do has consequences, good and bad, and it was his way of getting us to realize that we can have an impact on our lives, and the lives of others.
He also would say, “if you follow your passion you will never have to work a day in your life.” Which some have credited to some some other famous person, but I’m sure it really was my dad who said it first. He meant that if you truly believe you can accomplish something, let no one, or nothing stop you. He was the Nike guy, before Nike was an idea, “Just do it!”
He was known to also say to each of us, “Keep going to school, keep learning, even if it’s just one new thing, keep learning.” He truly believed that education was the key to success. He returned as an adult man to graduate high school, and continued to learn about different things, and technologies throughout his life. He was so happy that I returned to school at 46 to obtain my Doctorate degree. Heck, he even had Apple TV so he could watch his beloved Dodgers.
Several of us were so fortunate to spend this last Father’s Day with him, and for those of you who may be on Facebook you probably saw a little fun video we posted that we shared with everyone that focused on his hand-built BBQ -yes, brick by brick, at almost 90, he build that BBQ. I was also able to share with my dad a written post that I wrote the morning of Father’s Day, where I shared some of his amazing accomplishments over numerous obstacles. Yes, I was also able to share those sentiments with him the next morning, and he laughed greatly at the video clip, and teared up after reading my post. He was astonished that over 500 people at that time (now closer to 700) had seen our video, not even a day after it was posted. I told him that we had made a positive impact on people, and that made him smile that sly little smile of his.
The day after Father’s Day, we had the opportunity to talk about his accomplishments, as I saw them, and he simply looked at me and said to me, “I just tried to do what was right, I love you kids, I love my family, and I love my wife, I love my life. I can ask for nothing more. God has been good to me.” He also said, “I just tried to be good.” The humility of my father was extraordinary. I don’t think he truly understood the impact that his life had on others the brothers and sisters he helped raise, his own children, the literally hundreds of relatives that felt so much love from this man, the thousands of acquaintances that he might have coached, provided scouting tips to, taught how to work, learn a trade, raise a family, the miracles truly go on, and on. I believe that if we follow his example, and just try to “Be Good” each of our lives, and our collective lives will be better.
So God, as I conclude today, a little request if you will: Please be good to our daddy, Dolores’s husband, friend and caregiver to all, and a simply amazing man. Please, please make sure he has a cold Pepsi at the ready, the ability to watch the Dodgers, a fresh tortilla for snacking, some dancing music, and watch out, because as we know my dad, we can all predict, that he will work his way into the number one Angel position in short order, I just know it, since he’s that kind of guy!
Daddy, I love you, we all miss you, and we know that you will continue to guide us when you can! We thank you for our “Beautiful” life, and for being the beautiful person you were.
Love you always,Robert
Dr. Rob Martinez, is known as “Resiliency Guy” on Facebook, is on Twitter as @ResiliencyGuy and works as the Assistant Superintendent of Human Resources for the Fairfield-Suisun Unified School District.
Gratitude, Appreciation and Thankfulness
Gratitude, Appreciation, and Thankfulness
Gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness are personal characteristics that many people have, and I believe that when people allow these characteristics to frame their perspectives they are often more happy within themselves, and about their lives.
I believe that our perspectives are skewed by our experiences, and it is our interpretation of those experiences that provide us the ability to reflect, consider, and then to build our true life perspective that we then use to live new experiences.
A few difficult questions for you as you consider self-reflection: How were your world interpretation skills developed? Do you work on them? Do you reflect on them? Do you simply believe you are correct in your perspective? Do you seek out new ways of thinking? Do you seek out other views to be able to broaden your personal awareness? Do you believe that what you believe should or should not be questioned? Do you seen an alternative to your perspective, and can you view yourself holding that perspective?
To get more to the point, do you hold gratitude for the people, experiences, and life that you hold? Do you really appreciate the people, experiences, and life that you have built? Do you demonstrate your thankfulness to the people who have been and are in your life, for those experiences that you have had that have built who you are, and do you seek to pay it back to those in your world in a positive way?
To grow, develop, and to positively change takes time, and if you actually want to understand and appreciate your life in a more introspective way, it takes conscientious thought, consideration, reflective capabilties, and an understanding that life isn’t what has been done to you, it’s a compilation of the people that have been in your life, the experiences that you have had, and your responses to both.
Yes, you build your interpretation frame. You have the ability to analyze, interpret, and add meaning to each event. Now, sometimes, as children, we have limited abilities to control the people that come into our lives, or the life experiences that we have endured, and yet, as we review, interpret, and add meaning to these experiences as we grow, we can adjust, be flexible, and help ourselves to grow, develop, and take charge of our lives.
I choose to be grateful, to appreciate life, and to offer thankfulness for the people, experiences, and synthesis of both into my life. I choose to believe that I can make a difference, help build a positive world, and work to connect people to the resources that are close at hand that just might help them to grow, develop, and live healthy lives.
Is it a simple trick, is it a simple approach, is it simply that easy? Gratitude, appreciation, and thankfulness, three key ingredients to consider on this Thanksgiving Day, and I hope that you choose to sprinkle liberally throughout your life.
Dr. Rob Martinez, known as @ResiliencyGuy on twitter and “Resiliency Guy” on facebook, strives to connect with people and supports the framework of “Transformational Resiliency.” He will be presenting at the National Conference on Resilience Education in Las Vegas, Nevada on December 5, 2015.
Connect, Appreciate, and Build a Sustainable Transformation
Connect, Appreciate and Build a Sustainable Transformation
Connecting: When we connect, even for a moment, we demonstrate the ability to build relationship, be human, show love, and to build a community.
When we connect with those in our environments we take the first step in demonstrating to them that we care, that they matter, and that we believe in the value of them as a person with individuality, ideas, and thoughts that matter to us. We tell them that not only do we care about them, but they have a place in our world, and in our collective reality. Whether this connection is a simple acknowledgment, a wink and a nod, a brief conversation, or a heartfelt hello, we must strive to ensure that we are making these connections.
Think about it, in your world, when people take that moment to actually connect to you do you feel more alive. I think that as we go through our busy days, we often become so consumed eith our internal thoughts, our minds focused on problem solving, and with gathering information from our technological devices, that we sometimes forget to recognize that others are seeking to connect with us. For example, as I was ruminating over my day’s work, driving home, stopped at a stoplight, with the news radio blarring at me, I happened to look to my left.
It took just a few seconds, and yet there she was. An elderly African American woman I didn’t know, sitting in the passenger seat of the car to my left. She smiled, gave me a little wave with her small right hand, and nodded to me. It was no more than a few fingers being lifted to let me know that she saw me, and that smile and nod refocused me into realizing that my work-day, though long, filled with the troubles of others, and with complex problems with solutions that were hopefully on their way, was actually not that bad at all. She let me know that she saw me, she connected with me, she ackknowledged my exsistence, and I was grateful.
Appreciation: If we miss a moment to show appreciation, we miss an opportunity to potentially change the world! Don’t miss those moments!
Do moments in your day seem to fly by in clusters where you move from cluster to cluster without recognizing the efforts of others? For me it happens all too often, and I want to be better at recognizing the efforts of others, then in demonstrating appreciation for the efforts of others. This will take a conscious deliberate effort in seeking to notice these efforts, and a purposeful response to demonstrate that I’ve noticed, and appreciated those efforts. Please consider joining me in these efforts.
It could be as simple as saying, “Thank You.” It could be as simple as writing a post-it-note with a smile on it, and leaving it in a conspicuous place for the person to find, or it could be a brief email, text, snapchat, tag in a twitter post, or any other entry into the technological stream that the person swims, to let them know that you noticed, and appreciated their efforts. The venue isn’t the important thing, it’s ensuring that the person that you want to demonstrate appreciation for realizes that you care, you noticed, you appreciate them, and that you are not taking for granted their efforts.
Our world today is moving so fast, and yet, it is these moments that are so important to us as people, and it is these moments that could actually make an impact on our personal story, the story of the people in our world, and the broader world in general. Consider how your reality might change if you offered more appreciation to others. Could you ingnite a new way of acting with people in your reality? Could this new way of acting spread to those people, and their realities? Could we, as some have said, actually change the world by initiating a “Chain of Appreciation” that links us all together? What if we could? Why wouldn’t we?
Building a Sustainable Transformation: This takes ideas, dedication, and follow through! #Resilience #EachPersonMatters
To change the world is no easy feat, and yet, what could be more meaningful? So to those that actually dare to take on this challenge with me, I say, “Welcome, to wherever you are,” and “Let’s travel this journey together.” Whether you are a teacher, an educator, a person who cares about others, or the head of a major corporation, it just doesn’t matter, since no matter who you are, you do have the ability to change your world, impact the world of the people within your world, and quite possibly, change the entire world.
You simply need ideas that you believe in, dedication to initiate a change in your own behavior, and perserverance to follow through on your own behavior. In addition, if you create opportunities for others in your world to follow your example, and set expectations for those in your world that will lead to them supporting your ideas, then your goals become closer to your reach.
As this blog suggests, if you seek to increase your personal connections with others at every opportunity, if you begin to increase your appreciation for others that you are connecting with, you will be taking significant steps to build a sustainable transformation in your world, that can, and will, impact those in your world, and quite possibly ignite a change to our collective world. I ask again, What if we could? Why wouldn’t we?
Peace, Rob Martinez, Ed.D.
Dr. Martinez, strives to empower adults to build environments for children where they can “Grow in Peace. He can also be found on twitter as @ResiliencyGuy and @DrRobM_FSUSD
Dr. Martinez will be presenting at the American Associationi of School Personnel Administrators Conference, “Human Capital Leadership Summit” in Monterey, California, on December 3, 2015, and at the “National Conference on Resilience in Education” in Las Vegas, Nevada, the weekend of December 5-6, 2015.
Tale of Two Types of Teachers
Image Posted on Updated on
Tale of Two Types of Teachers: One Brings Forth Transformational Resiliency, the Other Threatens Students Success-Time to Choose!
My dear fellow educators, parents, people who care about children, and supporters of a better world, let me first say clearly, each and every child you know needs your support, care, love and understanding. I further believe that each child you know is entitled to an educational environment where they are encouraged to grow in peace, able to stretch their thinking, advance their skills, build a healthy psyche, and become college, career, and community ready!
Quite simply, each child is entitled to learn in an environment that focuses on building Transformational Resiliency, and one where a child’s success is never threatened.
Unfortunately, in some of our schools today I must confess that there continues to exist some adults whose talents and skills do not focus on providing support, care, love, understanding, empathy, and growth mindset models to children. Instead, they hold a mis-guided belief that the tactics of fear, intimidation, power, control, shame, and punishment are effective strategies for keeping children in their place, quiet, compliant, and focused on solely outdated academic pursuits as defined by these mis-guided individuals. Hold for a moment while I gasp along with you, and shake my head at the reality that some of these adult individiuals are mis-guided teachers who desperately need our intervention!
I’d love to tell you that this is a myth, and yet, to my dismay, I have heard words from some teachers’ mouths directly to my ears, that describe situations that could only lead to frustration and negative success for many students. Some of these statements sound like: “We must lay down the law…we must convince them (students) that we are in control…we must demand that they respect us…we must be sure that they know the consequences of their actions…we must force them to behave…we must suspend them at the slightest misdeed…we must never let them see our weakness!”
While some people might seek to understand these statements, and some might even agree that each classroom needs order, that children must be provided parameters within classrooms, and that when there is no order chaos could derail many a classroom, the underlying premise of these statements is one of intimidation and fear, which is by no way a means to an end where children are involved. It saddens me that these feelings might reside in anyone.
This is a sad fact that there are those in positions of power, including some teachers, that seek to control students. Further, where these sentiments exist there may be a push by some to garner support, and replicate these thoughts. It is worrisome when a veteran teacher with such beliefs, who thinks that it is their duty to share their “wisdom” with new teachers to ensure compliance of students across their school, is the main voice on a campus without discourse occurring. I must say this practice of passing of knowledge, this training of the newbies, this approach to control, domination, depowerment, has no place in our schools, has no place in the raising of children, has no place in the growth mind-set that is needed to support our children. Further, these tactics especially have no place where children have experienced trauma, pain, discrimination, and disparate treatment from their community, and these children need emotional nourishment, not emotional neglect. In fact, the complete opposite is needed for children to grow in peace.
Now, rest assured, that situations are not like this everywhere, and know that a growing proportion of educators are striving, pushing, leading other educators to understand that the first and foremost important factor that will combat this approach is to first be a person, a human being, and to allow our children to know that we are humans with true interest in developing relationships with them as people. These healthy relationships are so needed across our educational institutions, and are indeed an avenue to save children, and in turn save ourselves. When educators seek to provide positive educational environments, where the resilience development of children becomes one of the prevailing factors of the work, and where adults are consciously aware that they matter in the lives of children, extremely positive outcomes are possible. This paramount priority of building relationships must be at the forefront of an educator’s mission on a daily basis for real and true growth of children to occur.
In many of the conversations that I have had with such educators I have heard words of inspiration, words that are filled with encouragement, words that are supportive, demonstrate love and care, and words that can indeed lead to the enhancement of positivity and quite possibly change the world. Some of these words include: “We must seek to understand each child that enters our classrooms…we must strive to build relationships, and be human beings…we must help our children develop their internal locus of control…we must create respectful environments where each child can give and get from their community…we must provide opportunities for children to see their futures, to build capacities they never imagined, and to learn how to support each other…we must seek to heal children…we must seek to forgive children…we must seek to restore justice to our classrooms, schools, communities so that children learn to understand the power they hold in their lives…we must strive to empower children, all children, each child, to be ready for the future they can, and can’t see!” Then as believers of education we must inspire those that are doing this important work with our children each day to continue, and to bring their colleagues with them to create a positive tipping point for each school!
When I hear these positive statements from teachers I am inspired. When I see these types of positive strategies and behaviors being implemented I am enthralled. When I hear groups of teachers engaged in discourse that is focused on building relationship with and among students in classrooms, hallways, quads, schools that are providing environments that are empowering children to be safe, build positive relationships, learn how to trust our educational institution, and to use the resources provided to them to grow themselves and each other, I am humbled to be an educator. And, my dear colleagues, it is happening. It is happening due to the strength of individuals, the courage of educators, the resiliency of children, the implementation of professional development that encourages and educates teachers about their power to truly change lives through making connections with children, and by not thretening a child’s success.
It is happening in more and more classrooms and schools. Teachers and educators are learning how to “Capture Kids Hearts.” Teachers and educators are helping children to “Be The Change.” Teachers and educators are striving to support children with understanding “Rachel’s Challenge,” and to initiate a chain of kindness. Teachers and educators are fostering healthy conversations. Teachers and educators are encouraging restorative justice practices. Teachers and educators are understanding that it is with support, love, caring, and focusing on the betterment of children that real change occurs, and that by dismissing the old myths that we gain something by controlling children is a practice that has reached far beyond its shelf-life.
Teachers and educators are building classrooms and schools where social-contracts are the rule, not the rarity. Teachers and educators are understanding that the power of positive mental health instruction and social-emotional learning curriculums are a priority for each classroom. Teachers and educators are empowering each other to create environments where Transformational-Resiliency practices are flourishing. Teachers and educators are rebuking the false promises out-dated strategies that seek to control children, and are replacing them with strategies that are nuturing and nourishing students.
If you have stayed with me through this writing you have probably picked up that I hold quite an internal passion for this topic. Yes, my wife and I have four boys, and one with some significant difficulties simply attending school, and each and every time I hear someone speak of the need to control studentes I cringe, I gasp, my heart races, and my blood begins to boil. I am seriously concerned for my son experiencing anyone who might wish to threaten his success, and I pray that each educator that he may meet over the remainder of his education will be someone who will seek to employ Transformational-Resiliency practices to encourage his success.
I ask you, in your work, in your life, in your role, if you hear any educator speak of the need to control students, please challenge their ideas, tell them that you are sorry for their perception and experiences that might have led them to this perspective, and explain to them that there is another way, a better way, a way of engaging students through practices that focus on kindness, care, compassion, empathy, and relationship building. Tell them that they have time to change, that the children they work with each day deserve the best they have to offer, not just the control they want to implement, and quite frankly it might be time to tell them that if they cannot choose to change, they might want to choose to leave. Our children deserve only the best!
Tell them about Transformational Resiliency: The growth, development and strengthening of a child’s personal resiliency as a result of being provided an engaging, positive, thoughful, supportive educational environment.
Peace, Robert A. Martinez, Ed.D.
@ResiliencyGuy @DrRobM_FSUSD https://resiliencyguy.wordpress.com/
Recipes For Resilience 