Life
The Power of 12: Nurturing Positivity and Resilience in Students and Educators
From his recently published book, “Recipes for Resilience, Nurturing Perseverance in Students and Educators”, Dr. Rob Martinez shares the concept of “The Power of 12”.
How do we make sure that we capture the essence of each positive thought, action, and feeling so that they trigger more positive results, creating a snowball of success? Well, we take action to initiate positivity; we watch for it, we share it, we promote it, we use it to build ideas in the community we live in, and we spread it on everything!
Each and every positive experience we encounter is part of our story, but far too often we allow those who languish in negativity to influence us. Negativity can be found on the local news, in our offices, and even in our personal thoughts, so we must consciously work to listen and be prepared to contradict inaccuracies when we meet them. We must seek and share the positive comments, acknowledgments, successes, and steps taken toward healthy growth, and use this information in our own stories. We must share this information with our neighbors and colleagues, and even, for that matter, on the local news!
If we want the world to know about the great things that are happening in our environments, we must shout it from the mountain, whisper it to each other, share it on every screen, and print it on every piece of paper that exists! Here are a few ways:
• Build a class story. Each day, or at least once a week, give your class some time to acknowledge and show their successes, growth, and development. Write it down, capture it in pictures, or heck, even go live on social media. Create a library of experiences that tell the story of this group of amazing people.
• Use a class, school, or district website to tell the incredible stories of advancement, success, and good things that are happening in your environment. You don’t have to do it alone. Let your students take charge! Include them and put their ingenuity to work.
• Get out there and talk yourself up. Whether you speak up in staff meetings, parent-teacher organizations, local community groups, or even at board meetings for your organization, tell the story of success that you see.
The Power of 12!
I’ve said it a few times in this book, and it bears repeating: we must consider the hearts, minds, souls, and actions of all individuals as we strive to build and enhance our own resilience and that of our community. We can do this through a purposeful approach that seeks to acknowledge positivity when it presents itself to us. The Power of 12 is one such way. You must take on this challenge yourself, and to truly create an upswell of positivity, you should also enlist every adult in your organization to take part in these simple steps:
Step 1. Each week, tell at least one student and one colleague that you saw their heart. What does it mean to say that you saw someone’s heart? You will know it when you see it. You will see it in the way people care for each other, the way they take a second to think of someone else, the way they make life just a little easier for others or lighten the load for another person.
Step 2. Each week, tell at least two students and two colleagues that you appreciate their mind and the way they share their perspective with you or others. In our world, we are often connected by being disconnected. Many people would rather get a text message than a phone call, would rather read a Facebook post than have a conversation. Self-expression is becoming a lost art. Even at our dinner tables, we far too often look up and see those in the room watching their phones rather than really engaging. We communicate verbally and in person less than ever before. We must remember that we shine our brightest when we are actually locked in true discourse and connected by being with each other.
When someone actually takes time to share their thoughts and perspective, we should stop, focus, and listen. We should strive to really understand their intent and then seek clarification so that we understand them. In many circumstances, when we misunderstand someone’s words and ideas, it isn’t because they didn’t communicate clearly; it’s because we didn’t listen appropriately. Telling someone you appreciate their mind lets them know that they are meaningful to you, that they hold innate value as a person, and that you’re interested in what they have to share. So many of us feel devalued in our society, and I often wonder if some of those feelings come from not being listened to and appreciated for our thoughts and words.
Step 3. Each week, tell at least three students and three colleagues that you saw them help someone’s spirit soar. Did they offer a kind word, give encouragement to a friend, offer compassion and caring to another? Did they give a blessing to someone in need or support someone having a tough day? Did they give an unsolicited cup of coffee, snacks, or written words of love to someone? The examples can fill a book. Our acts help others’ spirits soar just a little higher all the time, but we are often not looking for these moments.
Okay, did you add them up? Step 1 calls for you to tell two people that you saw their heart. Step 2 calls for you to tell four people that you appreciate their minds. And Step 3 calls for you to tell six people that you saw them help someone’s spirit soar. So, each week, you would personally be connecting with twelve people, hence, the Power of 12.
If you want to start out in your classroom and keep it simple, start by saying to your students: “We are going to have a challenge over the next week. We’re going to focus on being kind, smart, and helping others, and we’re going to try and catch everyone doing it. So, during this next week I challenge each of you to tell at least four different classmates that you saw them do something kind, do something smart, or help someone. Then, at the end of the week, during our reflection time, we’ll hear about the amazing things our class has accomplished to make life better for everyone here.”
If you happen to have a teaching staff of twenty people and you enlisted each of these teachers into this simple activity, you all can connect with 252 students each week with a personal communication that is meaningful and provides feedback about their heart, mind, or ability to help someone’s spirit soar. Think about it: in just two and a half weeks, each child at this school would have been personally acknowledged by a member of the teaching staff!
What if you added your classified staff—everyone at the school site who doesn’t have a teaching credential yet cares about these children? Let’s add another twenty, even though some of them work part-time. That’s right, include your yard supervisors, custodians, parent volunteers, and anyone who is on your campus. With 41 adults participating in your school environment, collectively you can connect with 492 students each week!
Okay, now, just for kicks, imagine what happens if all 650 students were supported and empowered to exercise the Power of 12 each week of the school year. So, now there is you, the teaching staff, your classified staff, all adults on campus, and all the children participating. What you have is an explosion of positivity! If all 691 people participated in the simple practice of the Power of 12, each week there would be at least 8,292 positive affirmations occurring.
Over the course of a thirty-six-week school year, this would bring 298,512 positive interactions into existence that would lift up the entire school population. Talk about the Power of 12! This would garner some positive attention across your school community for sure!
This idea can be implemented in any environment, with any number of people. It’s another way to take back control of the narrative and the environment for everyone in the community. Will it stop all negativity from occurring? Perhaps not. But when each of us is engaged in planting the seeds of a positive environment, we’re taking fertile ground away from negativity, and we’re choosing what will be cultivated in our island paradise.
Our children are kind and good natured, and when we give opportunities for them to show these traits, they’ll be eager to please. In several schools where I presented this idea, the idea grew into an explosion of kindness. We had teachers creating social media posts with positive actions from their students. We received reports of kindness and care being extended to siblings and parents at home.
In parent-teacher-organization meetings, adults took it on and were really seeing each other differently—to the benefit of the children. I have even seen several of my more experienced teachers who have discounted many positive-behavior intervention strategies use this approach, and when they do, they get a renewed perspective on the power of children to make the world a better place.
If you would like to read more about my thoughts about nurturing perseverance in students and educators please go get a copy of my new book, “Recipes for Resilience, Nurturing Perseverance in Students and Educators.” http://amazon.com/dp/1956306439 And, better yet, get your entire staff a copy as well.
Dr. Rob Martinez, “Resiliency Guy” is a lifelong educator and now serves as the Chief Human Resource Officer in the Antioch Unified School District. You can find him on all the social medias as @ResiliencyGuy
#SEEKBEAUTY – My 2018 Theme
#SeekBeauty
As 2018 begins, and I mindfully reconcile the reality that this year I will turn 55 years old, I have tried to be more cognizant of the world around me, and the world that I assist in creating for others. Some might say, well, that’s maturity setting in, or others might simply say, finally. I like to think of it as continuing to grow, and my focus on seeking to recognize the importance that each of us has in the world and our impact on others.
Many of my friends and family members take time at the New Year to set resolutions, start some new habits, and or contemplate their place in the world, and their impacts on others, and I too have been thinking about what to focus on in this New Year., 2018
I landed on these two words that I hope will guide my this year: #SeekBeauty
#SeekBeauty in life, love, family, relationships, myself, friends, co-workers, colleagues, students, children, animals, land, air, water, food, fitness, learning, teaching, playing, being, all, #SeekBeauty
I know that #beauty is relative, and I do have many beautiful relatives, but that’s another story. What I mean by beauty in this case is to seek to understand the true, innate, beauty that is apparent in our world, that we frequently overlook, disregard, give little time to, and let slip away, when we should be appreciating it, caring and cultivating it, and bringing it into our hearts, minds and souls.
Life, love, family, relationships are the nourishment that we need to sustain our hearts, minds, souls, and yet, so many times we take for granted those that are in our lives, love us, are our family, and those whose relationships truly mean more to us than anything. There is beauty in each opportunity to grow these relationships that we must seek to appreciate. There is beauty in each conversation, touch, embrace, glance, and yet, we sometimes treat those we care the most about in the worst ways. I am seeking to see the beauty that is provided to me each day, and I hope you do the same. Notice, and appreciate each moment, and let others know you care, and see the beauty that is in them.
I am seeking to find the beauty that is in me. Yes, I might seem silly, and yet, the old question is accurate: “How can you love somebody, if you don’ love yourself?” In this case, I don’t mean in a narcissistic way, I mean to love yourself is to care for yourself. Care about what you eat, drink, do with your body. Are you moving, exercising, giving your body fresh air, water, nutrition that can help you? Are you providing your entire system with what it needs to sustain, to battle the vile parts of the world that seek to damage your body? Not one of us has the same system, so you have got to find what works for you, and then as the saying goes, #DoIt. Feed your mind, feed your heart, feed your soul.
Each of us spends time with co-workers, colleagues, clients, community, etc., and if we are wise and looking for it, there is beauty there as well. Again, this is not just a physical thing, it is in the way so many positive, good, caring people live and go about their lives. If you spend a few minutes watching the news you can quickly become filled with frustration, and disgust at many acts of a few, and yet, we frequently have hundreds of positive acts going on around us that we fail to notice by our community members. A door being opened, a friendly hello, a phone being answered, work being accomplished with service, a caring hand, a hug goodbye, are but a few of the moments that add to the beauty of the day. I challenge you, as I have challenged myself to see it, appreciate it, let it fill your heart with knowledge that people are beautiful!
Yes, the world that we live in is a beautiful place, and I also believe that it is up to us to create more beauty for our children, our students, our pets, those we care for, those who have lost the ability to see the beauty, though they still have sight. We must work to create beauty, be the best within us, and help each other #seekbeauty. I’m not sure if we will ever all get to this wonderful place that I am seeking to find, though I do believe that the journey would be a lot more pleasant if we all tried to create more beauty, and to find more beauty in each other.
Here’s hoping that you all #seekbeauty in yourself, others, and our world.
Dr. Robert A. Martinez is also known as @ResiliencyGuy He tweets, blogs, and seeks to share thoughts about the world, and our ability to empower each other with our actions, thoughts, and goals.
Gratitude, Appreciation and Thankfulness
Gratitude, Appreciation, and Thankfulness
Gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness are personal characteristics that many people have, and I believe that when people allow these characteristics to frame their perspectives they are often more happy within themselves, and about their lives.
I believe that our perspectives are skewed by our experiences, and it is our interpretation of those experiences that provide us the ability to reflect, consider, and then to build our true life perspective that we then use to live new experiences.
A few difficult questions for you as you consider self-reflection: How were your world interpretation skills developed? Do you work on them? Do you reflect on them? Do you simply believe you are correct in your perspective? Do you seek out new ways of thinking? Do you seek out other views to be able to broaden your personal awareness? Do you believe that what you believe should or should not be questioned? Do you seen an alternative to your perspective, and can you view yourself holding that perspective?
To get more to the point, do you hold gratitude for the people, experiences, and life that you hold? Do you really appreciate the people, experiences, and life that you have built? Do you demonstrate your thankfulness to the people who have been and are in your life, for those experiences that you have had that have built who you are, and do you seek to pay it back to those in your world in a positive way?
To grow, develop, and to positively change takes time, and if you actually want to understand and appreciate your life in a more introspective way, it takes conscientious thought, consideration, reflective capabilties, and an understanding that life isn’t what has been done to you, it’s a compilation of the people that have been in your life, the experiences that you have had, and your responses to both.
Yes, you build your interpretation frame. You have the ability to analyze, interpret, and add meaning to each event. Now, sometimes, as children, we have limited abilities to control the people that come into our lives, or the life experiences that we have endured, and yet, as we review, interpret, and add meaning to these experiences as we grow, we can adjust, be flexible, and help ourselves to grow, develop, and take charge of our lives.
I choose to be grateful, to appreciate life, and to offer thankfulness for the people, experiences, and synthesis of both into my life. I choose to believe that I can make a difference, help build a positive world, and work to connect people to the resources that are close at hand that just might help them to grow, develop, and live healthy lives.
Is it a simple trick, is it a simple approach, is it simply that easy? Gratitude, appreciation, and thankfulness, three key ingredients to consider on this Thanksgiving Day, and I hope that you choose to sprinkle liberally throughout your life.
Dr. Rob Martinez, known as @ResiliencyGuy on twitter and “Resiliency Guy” on facebook, strives to connect with people and supports the framework of “Transformational Resiliency.” He will be presenting at the National Conference on Resilience Education in Las Vegas, Nevada on December 5, 2015.
My Brother, My Brother–A Thanks to My Brother George!
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My brother, my brother, you made me do it, and in turn you helped to make me!
Many moments, many smiles, many tears, many laughs, many songs, many moments, many challenges, many amazing adventures, George, you often made me do it, and as you did you helped to make me!
As a child, to me, you were a Superhero! You were a blur, as an athlete, a musician, a good looking son-of-a gun, a wild one who drove fast cars, wore super wild clothes, lived in the fast lane, yes, you were a stylin’ metro man, well before your time.
George, you made me laugh, you made me cry, you made me clean your shoes, you made me wash your car, you made take care of your dog, you made me clean up after myself, you made me make dinner for us (even if it was just some boloney in a tortilla), you made me share my beer with you, and as you did you helped to make me!
As a teen, to me, you were a quite the mystery-man. Who else could pull off working at a diaper service during the day, and play in a wedding band on the weekends all at the same time. To me you were a world-traveler, a true bohemian, one who wasn’t ready to settle, one who wanted it all, and yet, you loved the simplicity of a cool beer on a summer day, a winter day, okay, day, night, whenever…
George, you made me wear a tie, you made me go to school, you made me sell my car, you made me get a job, you made me buy a Gremlin-3-speed cause it was safer, you made me bring home pioneer chicken (for free-fo-sure), you made me keep my room clean, you made me help with the yard, you made me go to Vegas with you, and wear a matching suit–(think Mexican Rainman), and by doing so, you helped to make me!
As a young man, to me you were an amazing role model, a man who enjoyed life at every moment, who demonstrated a commitment to his profession, who continued to enjoy his music, who focused on his friends and relationships, who loved the swapmeet on Sunday, the beach any time of day, and then as a man who would share all of his love with his wonderful wife, and children.
George, you made apply to college, you made me find a better job, you made me question my choices, you made me see the world of possibilities that was out there, you made me reach out and reconnect with dad, you made me get car insurance, you made me want to do better, you made me want to become the father I am, the husband I am, the professional I am, the friend I am. George, by doing so you helped to make me!
As an adult man, to me, the way you battled the cancer beast, year after year, and never let it capture your heart, mind and soul, i was always reminded of how I viewed you as a child-one with superhuman internal strength, as one who would ccontinue the fight to out-maneuver the pain, as one who would love to spend a day by the beach, enjoying a frosty one, and listning to some music with those he loved, and the hats, those beautiful styling’ hats.
George, you made me feel grateful for every moment I’d see you on facebook, you made me smile with every text you sent, you made me smile with every outing you were on, you made me wonder in awe of your perserverance as you would seemingly never, never, never give up! You made me think about my own relationship with God, and I really do believe that you are now traveling through space and time with mom, with Brandon, with Stephanie, and now joined by Hildi and other loved ones seeking out new adventures. George, my dear brother, by doing all of this you helped to make me!
Yes my brother, you helped to make me, by making me a better person, by being there for me, by being my best friend and father for a number of years. I truly could not imagine where my life might have been if not for you. I know you know, and it can probably go without saying, and, just to be clear, I love you, I’ll miss you always, and you will forever be in my mind, heart and soul.
My brother George took me in when I was sixteen years old and had very limited options. He cared for me as a brother, a son, a friend, and our relationship as you might tell from my writing will be un-matched in my life. I hope that these words resonate with you as you may consider how much you mean to those you love, and those that love you. My hope that you all have a Brother like my George in your life, and that you can be like this for another.
Peace to you, Rob
Recipes For Resilience 